_What is the sound of 100 women
    trying to sing Psalm 150 softly? _

we stand packed together in the early morning _
on the women’s side of the high, wooden mehitzah at the Kotel _
told not to wear a tallit _
not to lay tefillin _
not to wear a kippah _
not to sing in full voice _
we praise at the border of God’s core sanctuary

What is the sound of 100 women prayer leaders
restraining their voices? __

knowing we will be heard _
someone may throw chairs _
we may have to stop mid-prayer _
we struggle to center in kavannah
_
Hallelu     Praise         Yah
_
the sound of 100 women trying to sing Psalm 150 softly _
is the shofar __

Shevarim
breath rhythmically pushed through our constricted throats _
shatters the quiet on the women’s side

Tekiah
Here We Are
hopeful unbroken notes
can we overcome oppression with beauty?

Teruah
bekhee, bekhee, crying, crying, crying _
because the silent women _
in modest drab clothing _
run to silence us

Hallelu     Praise         the Holy One

the sound of 100 women prayer leaders restraining their voices _
emerges as harp, lyre, organ, flute _
volume pressed down

bursts into a dozen harmonies _
notes intertwine like trembling paramours _

The sound of 100 women trying to sing Psalm 150 softly is dangerous__

Hallelu     Praise         Shekhinah

we left our timbrels at home _
stand stiffly holding siddurim _
no dancing__

and yet, and yet _ _

the sound of 100 women trying to sing Psalm 150 softly _
is embodied, sensual _
naked with longing _
throbbing in restraint _

Hallelu     Praise         Ruach

b’tziltzilay teruah _
an elderly Rav climbs on a chair _
so we can see and hear him better _
he stands on the men’s side _
screams hysterically, spits with windy fury
    you are a shonda _
    you are an abomination _
    you break the Torah

b’tziltzilay shamah
hear our resonant response _
presence, presence, Presence _
you cannot control us _
we answer to the Eternal only _
radiant beauty meets red ugly rage _

The sound of 100 women _
trying to sing Psalm 150 softly
carries more defiance than a raised fist __

Kol Hanshemah
without kol ishah _
women’s glorious, gorgeous, inviting, tender, _
unbreakable, dangerous voices _
the all soul’s choir remains incomplete


Shattering
opening—
the sound of 100 women trying to sing Psalm 150 softly._